Britney Spears’ ‘Femme Fatale’: By The Numbers

Mar 15th, 2011 // 15 Comments

We all know that Britney Spears’ Femme Fatale has found its inevitable way to her fans’ ears before its official release date, though we had no idea we would get to listen to the whole thing this early. Instead of posting a formal review, however, we’ve decided to wade through the 12 tracks on Britney’s latest LP and offer you a numerical experience with which to enjoy the album. (FYI, expect the numbers to change when we finally hear the additional four songs included in the deluxe edition.) 1, 2, 3, Peter Paul and Mary, jump below for Femme Fatale – By The Numbers!

BRITNEY SPEARS’ FEMME FATALE BY THE NUMBERS

Number of songs that are about Britney hooking up with a stranger at a club: 6 (“Hold It Against Me”, “Seal It With A Kiss”, “Till The World Ends”, “How I Roll”, “Big Fat Bass,“(Drop Dead) Beautiful”)

Number of songs about Britney hooking up with someone she already knows: 6 (“Inside Out”, “I Wanna Go”, “Trip To Your Heart”, “Trouble for Me”, “Gasoline”, “Criminal”)

Number of songs not about Britney hooking up: Zero

Number of cat references: 2 (“This kitten got your tongue tied in knots…” from “Till The World Ends”, and “Got nine lives like a kitty cat” in “How I Roll”)

Number of dog references: 1 (“He’s a dog astray” from “Criminal”)

Number of references to “the floor”: 4 (“Till The World Ends”; “Big Fat Bass”; “Gasoline”; “on the dancefloor” in “Trouble For Me”)

Number of bad pick-up lines: 3 (“If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?” and “You feel like paradise, and I need a vacation tonight,” from “Hold It Against Me”, and “Your body looks so sick I think I caught the flu” from “(Drop Dead) Beautiful”)

Britney-Spears-Femme-FataleNumber of sly references to erect male genitalia: 2 (“It must be B-I-G because you got me hypnotized… Cause what I’m looking at right now would make a big girl cry” from “(Drop Dead) Beautiful”; the bass continuing to get bigger and bigger throughout “Big Fat Bass”)

Number of references to killing someone/death: 5 (the chorus of “(Drop Dead) Beautiful”; “Dying for company” (not to mention the apparent impending apocalypse) in “Till The World Ends”; “You set me on fire” refrain from “Gasoline”; “Hope to die” from “Seal It With A Kiss”; “He’s a killer just for fun” from “Criminal”)

Number of All About Eve quotes re-purposed to apply to hooking up: 1 (“Fasten up your seat belt, it’s gon’ be a bumpy ride” from “(Drop Dead) Beautiful”)

Number of different types of alcohol Britney drinks without a mixer: 2 (Tequila on the rocks in “How I Roll”; whiskey straight in “Trouble For Me”)

Number of times it sounds like Britney is having an orgasm: 2 (Very beginning of “How I Roll”; breakdown of “Gasoline”)

Vegetable shout-out: 1 (“Steaming like a pot full of vegetables” in Sabi’s rap in “(Drop Dead) Beautiful”)britney-spears-out-magazine

Fruit shout-out: 1 (“Wanna taste forbidden fruit” in “Seal It With A Kiss”)

Number of songs mentioning Britney flying/changing altitude: 3 (“Trip To Your Heart”, “Big Fat Bass”, “How I Roll”)

Number of songs addressing the DJ directly: 2 (“Till The World Ends”, “Big Fat Bass”)

Number of times sex/love is referred to as a trip/vacation: 2 (The chorus of “Trip To Your Heart”; “You feel like paradise, and I need a vacation tonight” in “Hold It Against Me”)

Amount of dubstep: A lot

Number of Britney fragrance shout-outs: 1 (“Your body feels like fantasy” in “Trip To Your Heart”)

Number of references to past Britney songs in the chorus of “Inside Out”: 2 (“…Baby One More Time” and “(Drive Me) Crazy”, which also makes an appearance in a lyric from “Trouble For Me”)

Number of times a G-rated word is made to sound like a much dirtier word: 2 (“You can be my thug tonight” and “Go downtown where my posse’s at” in “How I Roll”. How “If You Seek Amy” of Brit & Co.!)

Average amount of times we’ve listened to this album since Friday: About five trillion.

We know each and every one of you loyal Britney fans are waiting patiently until the album is officially released to legally procure it for your various music-playing devices — but if you’ve heard Femme Fatale‘s 12 tracks on assorted Internet sites, what are your thoughts? Better than Blackout? Or is it impossible to pit genius against genius?

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  1. Brit

    AMAZING ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRITNEY IS POP QUEEN!!!!!!!!!
    SHE IS POP-ICON, POP-CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lady caca SU*KS!!!!!!!!!!

  2. TBizzness

    She says “on the floor” in Gasoline in the second verse.

  3. jules

    i too have played it about five trillion times and am very excited about the bonus tracks

  4. I thought “I wanna go” was about masturbation?

    • I think it can be interpreted to be about self-pleasure as well as hookin’ up with other people. That Britney – so many levels!

      • I don’t know, this one seems all about self-love. But Britney is a mysterious diva, and given her many levels of complexity, it would not be outlandish to assume that when she hooks up with herself, she’s hooking up with several Britneys at once.

  5. Rosemary

    love it all….it was fantastic on first listen and now I cannot tell you how much I lADORE it! The only track I skip is “Hold it against me” which actually sounds lower and better on the album than the single, I am so glad all the other songs are better than HIAM. I LOVE Criminal and I think I Wanna Go is another super hit like TOXIC! I hated BFB at first and now I think it is a genius track for the album. I love the vocals on the album which are there to be an “Instrument” played in the songs. Britney is the ONLY singer that uses her voice in this way! She bends the words and mispronounces them to fit the “sound ” of the song! Britney’s timing is impeccable, (this is why she is an outstanding dancer….. her sense of timing is like nobody else’s …I have noticed how she can join a group of dancers halfway through a dance and she does it instinctively not in a learned way) and this is such a huge part of her appeal! Her sense of rhythm NEVER lies to her and that’s why she can always pick the RIGHT songs to sing and record. She knows what people will FEEL!

  6. Ray

    Uhh, those are BAD pickup lines? I guess I better reinvent my game then. :(

  7. Rainey

    Haha well it says hooking up w/ someone she “already knows” lol, so I’d say that fits!

  8. Jordan

    How come when Britney sings an ordinary love song, it’s automatically assumed to be about sex? ie, Trip to Your Heart, Criminal. Oh well.

  9. Brit

    HHHHEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYY!
    I want Britney’s SHOW ON ELLENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NOW, but it will be 30th MARCH!!!!!!
    GODNEY WE LUV U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Sherwin

    I like to think Blackout and Femme Fatale are essentially two sides of the same coin: Blackout was dark and edgy while Femme Fatale is upbeat and fun. Either way, these are the albums where she unleashes her greatest work; electropop at its finest and its most SUSTAINED.

  11. ZMH

    looks like I’m not the only one with the line “Go downtown where my posse’s at”. I can’t help but thinking there must an “i” (or “y” in that matter) that Brit wanna say but did not. lol

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