As of today, August can’t get here soon enough. By that time, not only might it stop being unbearably hot here in Arizona, but CMT will be rolling out Runnin’ Wild … From Ted Nugent. The premise of the program is largely discernible from the title: People run from Ted Nugent, and (to make things slightly less fair) his son Rocco. I wouldn’t say it’s been my life dream to be hunted as prey, but I would like to publicly throw my hat into the ring to be considered for the honor. After the jump, a few reasons why the producers should start looking for my contact info.
Because he’s always looking for ways to keep his name in the press, guitarist/outdoorsman/author/general loudmouth Ted Nugent has released a 10-song playlist—excuse me, “love manifesto”—into the wild in honor of Valentine’s Day. It is somehow not made up of 10 songs by the Nuge, although it does have a 30% “songs with variations on the word ‘Wang’ in the title” quotient. Feel the wango of his tango after the jump!
Never one to let a good media opportunity pass him by, Ted Nugent has decided to send an autographed advance copy of his forthcoming book Ted, White, & Blue: The Nugent Manifesto–which arrives in bookstores and other places that just happen to have large numbers of right-wing screeds on their shelves Oct. 6–to Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin*, since they possess a shared love of hunting, killing, and all that other red-meat “(wo)man’s (wo)man” bullshit that so-called conservatives eat up. Ted’s missive, complete with awkward Declaration Of Independence allusions, after the jump.
Anyone who watches Anthony Bourdain’s No Reservations knows that he’s a man’s man, so it was probably inevitable that he’d have a show during which he chats with Ted Nugent, who at the very least thinks he knows something about serving exotic erotic meats. More »
Yes, Beer For My Horses, the country caper based on Toby Keith’s legendary ode to lynching (starring Keith, Willie Nelson, Ted Nugent, and Claire Forlani), has a trailer out and will be hitting theaters this August. As shown above, Ted Nugent will be playing a crazed gun enthusiast named Skunk, and judging by Keith’s fond recollection of an on-set rabbit slaughter, it looks like the Nuge is a practitioner of the Method.
He’s tried John Cougar Mellencamp. He’s tried Chuck Berry. He’s even tried ABBA (sez McCain: “”Nobody likes them, but they sold more records than anybody in the history of the world, including The Beatles. But everybody hates them. You’re a no-class guy if you like ABBA. Why does everybody go see ‘Mamma Mia?’ Hypocrisy! Rank hypocrisy! I’m not embarassed to say I like ABBA, ‘Dancing Queen.'”) But nobody seems to want John McCain using their music as his campaign theme. What, doesn’t one of those Hillary Clinton fans who swear they’d rather vote Republican than for Obama own a worthwhile copyright?
Ted Nugent and the National Rifle Association have teamed up to promote a lovely new number from the Motor City Madman titled “I AM THE NRA,”* which is allegedly available at both Ted’s site (which opens with a shot of him sitting on a buffalo and the words “YOU CAN’T DO THIS IN FRANCE!”) and the NRA’s, though I’m only finding a link on the former. The lyrics? “When I think of freedom, I got my Bill Of Rights. US Constitution is my guiding light. Our founding fathers, they were not confused. I always celebrate self-evident truths. I AM THE NRA. I AM THE NRA. I am ‘we the people.’ I don’t need no OK. My pursuit of happiness will take me all the way. If you hate slavery as much as we all do, come on join the fight, I’ll tell you what we do. I AM THE NRA. I AM THE NRA. If you hate tyrants and dictators, and are ready to give freedom a whirl. Celebrate the NRA and the shot heard round the world. The shot heard round the world.” Ralph Waldo Emerson would be proud.
Remember “Beer For My Horses?” It’s a song by Toby Keith and Willie Nelson about things were better back when we used to lynch troublemakers. The video, which plays like an episode of CSI with extra soul patch, was evidently enough of a hit that Toby’s going to make a movie based on it! And if you’re going to make a movie about a bunch of rootin’-tootin’ singers dishing out street justice, of course you’ll have to include Ted Nugent as Skunk Tarver, “an uppity, defiant, long-haired, over-the-top rock ‘n’ roll deputy sheriff in Jackson County, Okla., who loves bowhunting and guns.” The Nuge wrote all about it in his weekly column for the Waco Tribune.
