Trapped In The Closet With Miley Cyrus

Kate Richardson | August 12, 2008 12:00 pm

Most people over the age of 16 have heard of Miley Cyrus (or at least Hannah Montana), but many have probably never actually heard one of her songs. I was one of these fortunate souls until last Monday, when a friend made me–and I’m still not sure exactly why–watch the Brett Ratner-directed video for her single “7 Things.” The one thing that struck me about this more or less mediocre song: Miley Cyrus’ voice sounds just like that belonging to the cop’s wife from Chapters 8-11 of Trapped in the Closet.

See for yourself:

Miley Cyrus, “7 Things”

Trapped in the Closet, Chapter 8

I realize Billy Ray must have had some hard times in the post-“Achy Breaky Heart” era, but I’m fairly certain that nothing could have driven the Cyrus family far enough into the backest backwoods of Appalachian Tennessee that would cause its cash cow to sing like R. Kelly’s crude approximation of a low-class Southern woman’s voice. I may only be from the coastal South, but I know bullshit when I hear it, and I don’t believe that even the hill folk talk with that awful twang. And to prove that she’s putting on the accent, here’s a video of her talking about Marc Jacobs at a Seventeen photo shoot:

Barely even a drawl. So I figure either a producer told her to play up the Southern angle, or she’s just a really big Trapped in the Closet fan. Either way, something’s amiss.