Idolator Charts The Artists Of Yesterday That No One Will Care About By Tomorrow

May 18th, 2007 // 4 Comments

kaiserssss.jpg(Ed. note: For the last few months, we’ve been proud to bring you Indecent Exposure, a regular ranking of the artists who are dangerously close to the over-saturation point. Today, we present the flip-side: Disappearing Acts, in which we calculate the artists who are generating alarmingly low levels of interest, despite recent albums. It’s an anecdotal chart that takes into account such factors as media appearances, blog hype, playing-in-the-background bar music, and overheard subway conversations, and it is 100 percent statistically sound)

DISAPPEARING ACTS CHART: 5/30/07
ARTIST DATE OF MOST RECENT RELEASE AND/OR RESIGNATION CULTURAL-RELEVANCY PERCENTAGE WEEKS UNTIL TOTAL OBLIVION
1. KAISER CHIEFS 3/27/07 1.2 11
2. AIR 3/06/07 2.1 26
3. CLAP YOUR HANDS…1 1/09/07 3.1 7
4. PAUL WOLFOWITZ2 5/17/07 64 0
5. THE MARS VOLTA 9/9/06 2.4 SUCH MATTERS CANNOT BE MEASURED IN SPACE
6. THAT HSM GUY WHO’S NOT ZAC EFRON 5/01/07 3.9 2009
7. DAMIEN RICE 11/14/06 4.4 28
8. ANNUALS 10/17/06 ??? ???
9. SICK PUPPIES 4/03/07 5.1 -4
10. SERIOUSLY: DAMIEN RICE 11/14/06 4.8 3

1 = Still unclear if Tom Hanks thingee will help/hurt
2 = Not to be confused with similarly monikered Australian power trio

It’s been barely two months since that KAISER CHIEFS record was released to non-acclaim, and the band’s been cursed by its inability to write a single one-tenth as good as that song about riots. The latest snoozer from AIR, meanwhile, once again earns the duo the title of “Most Boring Band In America”–even though they’re from France! As for SICK PUPPIES and ANNUALS, their Internet Internoteriety could only last so long. Finally, after nearly three decades of bureaucratic hits, countless world tours and one suspicious hire, the sun sets on PAUL WOLFOWITZ. Expect his comeback to ramp up just around the time Fred Thompson starts looking to fill out his cabinet.

idolator

  1. nonce

    The new Rufus Wainwright album + Jerry Falwell dying + Clap Your Hands fading away forever would complete my trifecta of karma bonus award points….make it happen, Idolator, please.

  2. Lucas Jensen

    Why all the hating on AIR? Sure, every other album is not so good (they are currently in a “down” period), but the good ones are worth it.

  3. MJ

    …and the band’s been cursed by its inability to write a single one-tenth as good as that song about riots.

    That might be because the spirit of Blur they were channelling has definitely left them, and now they’re on their own.

  4. hotdogwater

    Anyway, Air is French – they’re the most boring band in America not in America but in France instead.

Leave A Comment