“U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice may have attended just four rock concerts in her life, but the rock band Kiss apparently thinks she is pretty cool. More »
Early this morning, I thought that posting about this would be indicative of a very slow news day. And while it is, I’ve realized just how unbelievably awesome it is that Ace Frehley has canceled planned meet-and-greets following shows on his European tour because he has “ideas which would make such meetings spectacular,” and they need time to blossom. What popped in his head? “It’s just not right to do this without my Kiss outfit on?” “If I can’t meet and greet with lasers coming out of my hands while strapped to a harness, there’s no point to this at all?” Did he hear how many people turned up in Helsinki to see the guy who wears his make up now and get jealous? What exactly does he have to do to “perfect these meet-and-greets?” The mind boggles!
Usually, if you wanted Gene Simmons on your voicemail, all you had to do is tell one of his security people that you’d like to blow him. Now there’s a more hygenic way to get the God Of Thunder’s attention: write 200 words about whether or not you like prostitution! In order to promote his upcoming book on the subject Ladies Of The Night, Gene is asking for his more literate fans to provide him with a 200-word “essay” offering their own take (my advice to would-be winners? I’d go with “pro”). The finest blurb will win its writer various Gene Simmons products and a “personalized digital voicemail recording.” “IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS!” says Phoenix Books. Better than an STD, I guess.
This has to be one of the most depressing YouTube videos in my admittedly limited memory: Peter Criss, a year removed from KISS stardom, discusses his solo career, bringing popcorn to childbirth classes, and the days when people wanted his autograph. More »
You wanted the expensive repackaging, you got the expensive repackaging! Kiss will release a new three-CD box set, Playlist Plus, on April 29. The tracklisting to said box just happens to feature the exact same songs that appeared on the three volumes of that discount staple 20th Century Masters: The Millenium that they put out in ’03, ’04 and ’06 respectively. Why? Cuz you people deserve to give yourself a round of applause! Would you like to know just how many times these songs have been featured on albums and compilations? For reasons I can’t quite explain, I bothered to figured it out.
Sex tape terrorist Gene Simmons is attempting to explain away the lovemaking session that scarred us forever (link, as always, most assuredly NSFW) when it leaked to a wholly unprepared Internet last week by claiming that the VHS abomination is “decades old” and has long been in the clutches of an… More »
jess@idolator: Nothing going on this morning, eh?
maura@idolator: Ugh. Just the [alleged] Gene Simmons sex tape. [Ed. Note: Link not safe for ANYTHING, let alone work.]
maura@idolator: Did you hear what song was playing in the background?
maura@idolator: (I didn’t watch; I just read about it.) [Ed. Note: Riiiiiiight.]
jess@idolator: I did not, no.
maura@idolator: “I Want To Know What Love Is”
jess@idolator: Well I mean who hasn’t “made love” to that?
maura@idolator: I wonder what else gets Gene in the mood?
Good question, Maura! (Even if normal folks would rather imagine the family members of their choice getting it on atop a pile of newly dead bodies than think of Gene Simmons in (makeup-free) flagrante.) Since “I Want To Know What Love Is” clocks in at around 5:00 and the tape lasts a respectable (if not Sting-level) 10:00, one must assume that Gene had a second song picked to round out his 1/6th of an hour spent in the act of physical love with his Australian energy drink spokeslady. But what was it?
Now that purchasing music directly is out of style, how will the next generation consume their favorite Top 40 hits? And will they be able to do so while maintaining their daily personal hygiene routine? Hasbro’s Tooth Tunes Musical Toothbrush is the only brush that sends music through your teeth…and into your head! Which two-minute song clip would you choose to be sent “through your jawbone to your inner ear?
Gene Simmons’ areas of expertise don’t just extend to ladies of the night and plastic surgery; he’s also well-versed in the value of a dollar, as evidenced by his willingness to license the KISS brand to anything and everything that it can be slapped on. So naturally, he has some thoughts about the current “recorded music should be free” rhetoric that’s sweeping the bandwidth-blessed nooks of the world, and guess what? Where some techno-utopianists see a beautiful world of free songs for all, he sees nothing but a bunch of flawed business models and freckled crooks.
Kiss’ Gene Simmons is “up to [his] neck writing [his] next book: ‘Ladies Of The Night–A Historical And Personal Overview Of The Oldest Profession’ on our Simmons Books/Phoenix Books imprint. It should be finished by spring.” Finally, the impetus to restart the long-stalled Idolator Book Club! More »
