Blonde Bond Daniel Craig and cell phone pitchman Noel Gallagher got into the kind of fake celebrity spat that the British tabloids manufacture daily by using the patented system of drawing two celebrity names out of a hat, asking them about one another, and then creating a headline that seems salacious—“Daniel Craig baits Noel Gallagher over guitar skills jibe,” in this case–-until you read the story and realize that nothing all that interesting happened.
In this case, Craig was questioned at a movie premiere about Noel Gallagher’s assertion that Craig should play him in the (inevitable?) Oasis biopic. Craig said he was too old for the role (he’s one year younger in reality), and that, anyway, he was better at guitar. I did some digging to see if I could find 007 jamming out on the guitar, but I was met with crickets and tumbleweeds. (The British beefcake apparently does enjoy a game of Guitar Hero now and again, but that really ain’t the same thing.)
Perhaps taking a cue from his tourmate Ryan Adams, Oasis’ Noel Gallagher has started a blog, although for some reason (well, probably a reason that’s rooted in some marketing initiative or another) it’s registration-only. So you’ll only be able to hear about Noel’s irritability with autograph-seekers and all-night vodka/Neu! parties if you give up your e-mail address and a few other identifying markers. But if you do, oh, what treats await you! Like this glimpse into Oasis’ dressing-room debate over the 10 best bands of all time, ever. Sure, he went the “list-as-content” route early, but c’mon, if there’s one thing Noel Gallagher probably knows, it’s that the Internet loves nothing more than to argue over semi-meaningfully quantified groups of artists, songs, and other cultural curios. I bet you can all guess who took this list’s top spot…
Noel Gallagher has big bold plans for Oasis’ upcoming album, Dig Up Your Soul. “I wanted to write music that had a groove; not songs that followed that traditional pattern of verse, chorus and middle eight,” he tells the NME. “I wanted a sound that was more hypnotic; more driving. Songs that would draw you in, in a different way. Songs that you would maybe have to connect to–to feel.” Wow, just when you think these guys are going to be stuck repeating former glories, they come with something fresh, unprecedented and not remotely Beatlesque. That title, though…Dig Up Your Soul. It reminds me of another album title that went “Dig something something…word that rhymes with ‘Soul.’ ” Hmmm. I just can’t place it…
Oasis has allegedly replaced drummer Zak Starkey (The Who/Icicle Works/Lightning Seeds) with Chris Sharrock (Robbie Williams/Icicle Works/Lightning Seeds). More »
Once moderately famous rock musician Noel Gallagher (purportedly) suffered the z-list indignity of botching multiple attempts to charm his way into various Oscar parties on Sunday night. More »
Of course, the laziest sort of blogging is commenting on the lists of others, but with Kanye on vacation, no news in the T.I. case, and Pete Doherty insisting on staying alive and out of jail temporarily, the scoundrel must find his posting refuge. Some English cable channel made a list of Britain’s wittiest celebrities, and Noel Gallagher sneaked in at number ten, behind a bunch of hacks named Coward, Wilde and Shakespeare, but well ahead of that hack Albarn. In honor of Noel’s inclusion on a completely worthless contrived list, enjoy a selection of the witticisms that got him there:
