The 2013 Grammy Awards nominations arrived last night courtesy of an impressively weird CBS concert, but amidst the many thrilling surprises the evening packed — who among us wasn’t exhilarated by the frissons we felt upon realizing that LMFAO‘s “Sexy and I Know It” had finally received the recognition it so sorely deserves? — there were also some disappointments. Why did nobody believe in Justin Bieber? Why were they so mulishly unwilling to take a ride with Lana Del Rey? Doesn’t anyone want to take One Direction home? These were the questions that kept us up all night.
Head below to see the most outrageous snubs from this year’s Grammys.
Justin Bieber: Overalls-wearing wunderkind Justin Bieber was snubbed in this year’s Grammys. You know who thinks so? Justin Bieber’s manager! Yes, the illustrious Scooter Braun (who is also responsible for bringing us Carly Rae Jepsen and jumping on the PSY train as it was wheezing its last dying gasp) was mighty worked up on Twitter earlier today over Bieber’s exclusion from the noms, despite having a chart-topping, critically-recognized-if-not-altogether-acclaimed album that made the critics say things like “sonic evolution” and “overalls.” (“Overalls” was just us, actually.) Braun comes correct, ultimately, since “As Long As You Love Me” was a pretty phenomenal tune, and Believe was a solid album as a whole. But tweeting “I just plain DISAGREE. The kid deserved it. Grammy board u blew it on this one” isn’t the most graceful way to show it. Then again, who needs grace when you’re Justin Bieber? This one’s for all the haters.
Nicki Minaj: And none for you, Nicki Minaj! There’s a sad superstar in Barbtown, with only a dazzling collection of candy-colored wigs and some high-concept outfits to soothe her frayed nerves. There was nary a nom for the rapstress to be found, which is surprising considering Roman Reloaded packed some powerhouse singles, but perhaps her music was overshadowed by being her other priorities this year: Becoming one of the year’s biggest manufacturers of olfactory goods, tugging Mariah Carey‘s weave and releasing (at last count) 10,000 music videos from her last record. Is this how Marilyn Monroe felt? Yes, Nicki. Yes, it is.
Carly Rae Jepsen: Is it still a snub when an artist gets nominated for several awards? In the case of Carly Rae Jepsen, maybe! Consider the following: While “Call Me Maybe” was one of the biggest songs of 2012, crushing radio with the almighty force of a Canadian army, Jepsen’s song got the cold shoulder when it came to the Record of the Year and Jepsen herself missed out on the Best New Artist award, which is the awards-show equivalent of being openly called a one-hit wonder. C’mon, Carly Slay. Prove them all wrong!
Christina Aguilera: The exclusion of Christina Aguilera‘s “Your Body” and her latest LP Lotus from the nominations proves once and for all that the people responsible for the Grammy nominations are not true lovers of music. Missed the deadline? Not eligible? Critically reviled? Who cares. Respect the Legend Of The United States. Rise up, Lotus, rise up.
One Direction: Did you hear about this up-and-coming band out of Europe or whatever called One Direction? They’re kind of a big deal nowadays, what with their winsome good looks and doe-eyed gazes and songs about young romance, but the Grammys don’t think so! While “What Makes You Beautiful” was dominating the Hot 100 and legions of tweens were screaming themselves hoarse, the Grammys were busy ignoring 1D for totally not-even-that-cute bands like Alabama Shakes for the Best New Artist award. Point being, the Grammys are just like your parents: They don’t get it.
Lana Del Rey: The year’s breakout gloom-pop sensation Lana Del Rey must have been a little too something for the Grammys: A little too moody, a little too commercial, a little too mainstream. It’s true that her chart successes were minimal, and being a bleepy-bloop bloggy buzz girl rarely (if ever) translates into sweeping the biggest music awards of the year — but Born to Die was a great album, wasn’t it? And “Ride” was one of the best singles of the year, with a spectacular video to boot. Hey, Grammys: Go and play your video games. We’ll be smugly judging you in our H&M wrap dress.